three things in contemplation for the upcoming all hallows eve

1. Percy Bysshe Shelley knew what's up:

‘Thou taintest all thou lookest upon! -the stars,
Which on thy cradle beamed so brightly sweet,
Were gods to the distempered playfulness
Of thy untutored infancy; the trees,
The grass, the clouds, the mountains and the sea,
All living things that walk, swim, creep or fly,
Were gods...

Awhile thou stood’st
Baffled and gloomy; then thou didst sum up
The elements of all that thou didst know;
The changing seasons, winter’s leafless reign,
The budding of the heaven-breathing trees,
The eternal orbs that beautify the night,
The sunrise, and the setting of the moon,
Earthquakes and wars, and poisons and disease,
And all their causes, to an abstract point
Converging thou didst bend, and called it God!

-Shelley, Queen Mab


the language is sublime and i love how it exalts the mystery and beauty of nature, but also it is such an affront to monotheism. kind of badass for a 21-year-old kid in 1813.

2. luna lovegood, my unlikely literary crush.

my brother and his wife are throwing a harry potter halloween bash this year. it had been a while since i read the novels and i was a little hesitant but willing to participate because my brother and his wife are pretty rad people and boston is awesome this time of the year. i received a text from my brother that stated simply "we've decided you are luna lovegood." at first, i was anxious to research other HP characters to be for the party, but the more i researched luna and revisited her part in the novels, the more i became entranced. i've discovered how likely a candidate i am to portray her, and how much i like the character. when i tell people that's who i am for halloween, i've noticed people squint their eyes and smile and say, "yeah, you'd be a good luna." luna is quirky and dreamy and a little spacey, but always observant and intelligent.

"Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles."

3. all the amazing things coming up in november and december. i'm so excited to enjoy one of my favorite holidays with my awesome family (brother: remus lupin, sister-in-law: professor minerva mcgonagall, sister: pansy parkinson) and then get back to work. publications, finals, readings, interviews with famous people, and the holiday season. happy halloween everybody!

oh, and...

HAPPY SEPTEMBER! autumn, my favorite season, is nigh. and virginia about to become gorgeous.

for those who don't know: virginia is magical.

also, september is notorious for being the month that my brother and boyfriend celebrate their birthdays.  (coincidence that they are both virgos?) random fact for septemberists out there: september's birthstone is the sapphire, not only the moniker for author, but it also represents clear thinking. most excellent.

so for now, i will listen to matt pond pa (personal choice for back-to-school autumn music) and read my books because:

currently reading...

since there are several books on rotation, i'll make a list. 

1. The Italian, Anne Radcliffe. lots of unrequited love and phantasmal hooded monks. 

2. Romanticism, Sharon Ruston. lots of european post-enlightenment drama. 

pink highlighting=learning.

3. The Octopus, Frank Norris. for reasons beyond my control (hurricanes and shitty amazon shipping), i was unable to even procure this book and start reading this until today, even though i should have been reading it for a while now. so far, all i can say is it not about cephalopods (even though they are fascinating and i'd LOVE to read a book about them). but there are lots of upset farmers and greedy railroad owners.

an epitaph for summer 2011

okay, i do realize it's not quite the end of summer, but you know you're excited for fall. right? right?? here along the lovely shores of virginia, i can feel the crispness sneaking into the breeze and i want to sprint upstairs to my apartment, throw open the closet doors and unharness the legion of cardigans lurking within. also,  first semester of my MFA has officially commenced and weather notwithstanding, summer is O-VAH.

and so: i am writing an epitaph for my summer 2011 in efforts to both brief you, constant reader, on my whereabouts of late and also to commemorate a season that has been hectic, yet fortuitous and insightful.

in memory of summer 2011 (b. 31 may 2011 d. 30 august 2011) --

from the very beginning, you were a bustling, fussy little creature! when i was moving to my new apartment in norfolk during memorial day weekend (which was, previous to this time, a great idea), you had to bring the heat wave early. naughty little whippersnapper! me and my boyfriend thought we could surely transport our belongings to the second floor of our condo ourselves with a fair amount of effort. nothing we couldn't handle. bananas! thanks to your record humidity, we were dripping with sweat before we even began moiling. also, because we lacked the foresight to call the power company prior to the holiday weekend, we were entrenched in the sweltering second floor of a circa 1920s building for nearly a week.

ah, home!

and it wouldn't have been fun unless i got into a car accident the day before we were to move, ensued by insurance claims and chiropractors appointments for the next 3 months...

nevertheless! we settled into our new place nicely. tucked our jeans and leggings into the closets, donned the artwork on the walls, and (after a heated telephonic skirmish with ikea over botched deliveries) plopped cute pillows on our brand new 9-ft tranas light brown sofa. i find it quite fetching, and i'm pleased to inform you, adored reader, that reggie approves it on all accounts, mostly because it is exceptional for stretching out during afternoon puppy naps:

look at the cute puppy, ignore the greasy haired girl

but that's not all summer, that wily minx, had in store for me. i was fortunate enough to be associated with and newly employed by a phenomenal organization, The Muse Writers Center. I taught a teen writing workshop this summer past, and I couldn't be more thrilled at having such an experience. My students were purveyors of wild and imaginative and compelling stories, equally compassionate and salient writers, and just damn awesome pre-adults. i left each class feeling energetic and confident and, okay i'll say it, optimistic. for myself and for our collective future as a human society. i hope each of these kids is elected some form of public office, because i have full confidence that they will solve difficult problems and imagine a better world and make it happen. in short, i think i understood what it was like to be a teacher and feel as if you might have formed some modicum of a positive change in a young person's life.

yes, i realize that it's just my first class and i haven't even breached the tribulations of what it means to live the life of a full-time teacher. however, i'd be lying if i said i don't dream of growing old and quirky, tenured at a respectable institution, beloved by my students and admired by my colleagues. a female mr. chips, if you will. or:

it could happen.

summertime was also a fine time to traverse the great state of new york. namely: watkins glen. ny's gorgeous mountainous skyline makes you feel like doing cartwheels and the view of seneca lake along rte 414 is absolutely breathtaking, but watkins glen is also location of the finger lakes wine festival. i'm opportune enough to have family ties to this area, so me and the boyfriend packed up the pug and trekked north for a visit. thus, wine-drinking and some QT with the fam ensued:

behold, shopping carts of wine.

and since i'm a leo and i'm supposed to be some kind of proud feline beast, i also have to gloat that my birthday was a fantastic one (8/2/82...pretty neat, eh? i think so).

summer 2011, you brought me some awesome hangouts with friends, you brought my favorite band to a nearby venue, and you gave me the opportunity to explore the lovely city baltimore, wherein we drank great craft beer, visited an aquarium (an awfully brave act on my part), spent some QT with edgar allen poe, and caught an orioles game. 

IN A PHOTO MONTAGE:

i didn't swoon. but i was close.

heavy seas brewery. hit up the early morning tour for a healthy and delicious breakfast.

at the aquarium, anxiety level is low

this is not scary, just disturbing.

not pictured: empty liquor bottles scattering atop and behind the headstone.

birdland

lastly, summer bequeathed to me even more good fortune. i was the recipient of a scholarship for my MFA program (which will be used primarily for books and dark roast coffee). also,  one of my stories will be published in the future issue of a pretty neat literary magazine!  i won't include a link until they post the issue for sale (since they're biannual, it's slated to publish later in the year), but expect a link to it in future blogs!

and so, summer, upon your annual farewell to hibernate until next may, i want to say: "hey, thanks mamacita.  so...maybe if i'm good and i work really hard, next year you'll give me a polished book, ready to be devoured and loved by the publishing world. yeah?"

currently reading...

this weekend past, i attended a writing conference at christopher newport university (where "barmaiden of kulgera" placed in best nonfiction category!) and was lucky enough to cross paths with one robert day. i cannot stress this enough: the man, at 70 years old (he made sure to let us know this several times), had more passion and knowledge about the craft of writing than  most of my college english professors. he taught two workshops, one about first person fiction techniques and the other about third person techniques. both workshops were insightful and fun and inspiring, which should be the distinguishing features of any decent writing workshop. i learned about the genius of katherine anne porter's dueling POVs, the nature of a crooked cigarette, and essential tips for utilizing narration, exposition, and description in prose. also, mr. day has planted in me the desire to become a ranch hand in kansas. one day.

which brings me to his novel, the last cattle drive. i'm about a 1/3 of the way finished and it's a fantastic read. set in kansas, it centers on a recent college graduate who moves to a small town in the western part of the state to teach at the local school. come summertime, he takes a job helping on a local cattle ranch. day's characters are hilarious and flawed and deeply human, and i'm reading the book rather quickly because i love it so much. sadly, it's probably going to be one of those books that i plow through greedily and then slow down and savor the last chapter, not wanting it to end.

success!

this is the face of a future ODU creative writing MFA student

do your thing, petty.

the waiting is the hardest part. -tom petty.

things i like this week that have nothing to do with writing.

CRAFTS. especially this one:

now that i have time to spare, arts (and farts, for those who get the reference) and crafts are the pastimes i look forward to pursuing again. also, i once painted my room this exact same paint color (lemongrass) and my roommates made fun of me. now it's on re-nest. i do believe genevieve gorder would approve.


another thing i am loving right now is one that got me through the anxiety attack that i detailed in the previous post. that, my invisible friends, is better your body bootcamp. there's a version of it, i'm sure, in most areas. my own bootcamp varies in size and age and the amount of people that show up, but the core group we now have is awesome. our bootcamp instructor has right mix of tough-guy "summer's coming, ladies, ya'll need to keep reppin' squats if you want to look good in that bikini" attitude and also the quiet patience with the more stubborn bootcampers. although, he did kick out one nasty bird after she refused to do a squat thrust.  anyway, i always feel happy after i finish the hour workout and even though i've gained more muscle weight than i care to admit, i think it's good for me. once i get this 1200 calorie diet thing down, i might even be svelte enough to walk around on a beach without dashing for a coverup. hell, come july, i might even buy jeggings.

okay, jeggings won't happen. maybe pajama jeans?

sorry for the hiatus, imaginary interwebs folks, but i had some work to do...

i turned in my last application four days ago on a beautiful sunny afternoon in norfolk, va. i came home and checked my email, wondering if i'd gotten any good news yet. i looked like this:

except i'm a chick. and a little older (but not by much...yeah).

today i had a stressful experience which, to its credit, ended with a glimmer of optimism. a glimmer? maybe sliver of optimistic light. who knows. i won't go into the experience, but let's say my seemingly normal work day spiraled downward until i was crying in my car waiting outside my gynecologist's office for my upcoming yearly appointment (which i was so close to canceling, but decided to soldier on anyway). next thing i know i'm bawling and naked (draped only in that awful pastel XXL gown that opens only in the front) and they can't get a steady blood pressure reading and all i can do is blubber about how i'll never get into an mfa program. as if gynecologist appointments aren't embarrassing enough. so, that being said and out there in interwebs-land, i am faced with a conundrum i can't quite argue for or against. now i look like this:

only that doll is creepy and my teddy bear is a pug named reggie.

as some mfa applicants know, there's a blog for us. one of the options in the blog is to subscribe to this CW application responses database. once you subscribe, you are updated with all the responses other applicants have received from their respective programs. this also offers other applicants a peek into which schools have responded to whom and when, so that you might have an idea of what your own response might be, and when it might be coming. IOW, if a bunch of fiction applicants just got word of their acceptance to vanderbilt on february 11 and you haven't heard zilch come march, the chances of you getting an acceptance are slim to none.

now, knowing this resource is out there for me, i am wondering if i should subscribe. having subscribed to some posts on this blog, i realize that my gmail account will be exploding like an independence day bbq. but do i want these emails? do i really want to know who got in and when? do i really want to torture myself with daily--more accurately, on the minute--news on the acceptances from other applicants? won't i find out either way? yes, but somehow, i feel as if i know that one school is completely out of the picture for me, the blow will be less shocking. after all, seth abrams does argue this case in his introduction to the database, and it makes sense. but whether or not this will be of any help to me is a purely subjective thing. some people want to know as soon as humanly possible the grade on their term paper, or which person they will end up marrying, or, more sordidly, when they will die. others choose to live in intentional denial, and when such events happen, they happen. after all, those issues are out of one's hands once that letter is signed, sealed, and delivered.

you see, i'm now sitting in the waiting room. do i kick back with my ipod, leaf through a tattered in touch magazine, and find a comfortable spot? or should i pace a worn path around the room, jump every time the door opens, and keep bugging the receptionist about when i'll get to see the doctor?