lately i've been thinking a lot about ambiguity. its uses, its flaws, its various applications throughout literature and history. cleopatra, for one, was famous for her impetuous femininity and impervious pride; the strength that trait this allowed her both politically and socially. queen elizabeth was famous as the virgin queen, but her the variety in her iconography is really her lasting legacy. she was, as most know, NOT a virgin, only branded so to perpetuate her loyalty to the english empire. elizabeth was also praised for her pageantry and coquetry, for example the "faerie queen" by spenser, to lure suitors to take over the throne, an act that would satisfy the patriarchal paradigm touted by the house of commons. when she remained unmarried and considered too old to marry, she assumed the chastity of the moon goddess Diana or Cynthia as symbol of a perpetually virginal "bride" to her "husband" england. what i'm getting at is that, over the years, women in power have been necessitated, as politically and socially repressed subjects, to rely on their ambiguous nature to survive.
which brings me to peacocks.
the peacock's symbolism is varied: renewal, pride, beauty, resurrection, "all seeing." researching the bird led me to an interesting quote about flannery o'connor and her fascination with peacocks:
"Among the many fascinating tales and lore of the peacock which P. Thankappan Nair includes in his article “The Peacock Cult in Asia” is the following quotation:It is an unfortunate tendency of the English mind to seize what seems to it grotesque or ungainly in an unfamiliar object; thus the elephant and the peacock have become almost impossible in English poetry because the one is associated with lumbering heaviness and the other with absurd strutting. The tendency of the Hindu mind on the other hand is to seize on what is pleasing and beautiful in all things and turn to see charm where the English mind sees a deformity and to extract poetry and grace from the ugly."
of course, i'm a huge flannery o'connor fan and i've always been curious about her predilection with peacocks. my only encounter with a peacock was in australia on a cattle farm, where they were mean and obnoxious and woke me up with this insufferable screeching early in the morning. but over the years, i've become more interested in the creature. as i've researched the feminine quality of ambiguity, i was reminded of the peacock. the quote above in how people perceive the unfamiliar, as either grotesque or beautiful. this nebulous divide between the absurdity and gracefulness reminds me of the ambiguous nature of anomalies, such as women in power. how they must be everything and nothing, constantly changing, in order to survive. and how the western patriarchal constructs have repeatedly misunderstood these multitude of meanings. kind of a "how do you solve a problem like maria" sentiment. well, i dig it. what was once an annoying creature has now become an object of fascination. while i'm not a bird person in the sense that i could walk among them and feel completely comfortable (at a young age, i was attacked by a goose that bit my ankles while at an amusement park--a harrowing ordeal), i love the symbolism attached to them. and i appreciate (from afar) their beauty and complexity.
so here's some cool-looking peacock tattoos. i've been thinking about adding some onto my arm with one of my favorite quotes by miss flannery, an homage to one of my favorite writers. and also something to commemorate a kind of big birthday coming up in august. or, it's supposed to be a big birthday or whatever. i don't care. i just want to dance, read books, and get peacock tattoos.
