tiny apology to the interwebs

...for the last post's mopey tone. i swear, the time i spend handwringing and fretting could be spent on more constructive things like, say, writing. nevertheless, i was in a dark mood for a few days. i try to keep the mood of this blog light because...well, i'm usually in a good mood. i suppose the stress of finalizing a book, perfecting my portfolio, entering submissions, working 10 hour work days, writing/editing essays, studying for the GRE, and organizing all the application materials for 12 highly selective writing programs had gotten to me.

but the dread fog has lifted after a great phone conversation with one of my old professors from JMU. he was writing the recommendation letter for my application to Vanderbilt and he remembered being impressed by a research paper i wrote for a film adaptations class he taught. it caught me off guard, and i mean that in the best way possible. it also made me feel so grateful and lucky to have people that support me in this insane endeavor of mine. my friends and family, my former and current instructors,  my fellow writers, and my coworkers have all been understanding and unbelievably generous in their efforts to help me follow my dream. complaining should be the last thing on my mind.

and so, it is. even if i don't get into any programs, i'll feel like i gave it my best shot. others think i am good enough of a writer for this opportunity,  and that's something i am proud of. 

you know what? screw it, i'm going to give myself a pat on the back. right now.

there, just did it. it worked in 1st grade and it still works 23 years later.