Suck it, 2012.

Delayed by regular bouts of stress and anxiety, behold: my belated post about how 2012 can piss off.

Now, I'm not a negative person. Really. I love life. I love walking my dog in the park, even when glared at by the homeless guy sleeping on the bench. I donate to The Sierra Club to save the Gray Wolf pups in peril at Yellowstone National Park. I genuinely enjoy giving my friends and family presents I know they will love. I like talking others out of their funks. Babies still creep me out, but I'll still smile at one and I might even speak to it. In other words, I am a consistently positive and chipper gal.

But seriously: fuck you, 2012.  And 2013: you're kind of being a shithead, too.

I won't list the many reasons why 2012 has sucked for me personally, but I will offer some perspective on said reasons. The first is that while I am still frustrated over things that happened, I am not dense enough to be unthankful for some of the good things. Publications, awards, praise, teaching work that I love, fun times with good friends. I saw TDKR and The Hobbit (twice). I was the TARDIS for Halloween. I discovered the benefits of avocado oil. We finally got a Lush store in town (OMGOMGOMG). For all the shitfights endured last year, I do know that the amazing things in my life far outweigh the bad times. Nevertheless, as my second perspective, I am shocked at the behavior of certain people in my life and just people in general. I guess this goes without saying, but people--even those closest to you--can be so callous and cruel. That makes me sad.  Sincerely. Maybe I'm a sentimentalist. Maybe I should watch less TV, or incorporate more fiber in my diet, or volunteer at shelter. Maybe I shouldn't rehash the painful situations over and over in my head. Maybe I should try to care less. Maybe that would lessen the shock over how badly people can treat others. I doubt it.

So yeah, the overall  disappointment quotient of 2012 is way too high, comparing to other years. And what makes 2012 stand out most of all is that I tried really hard to do good work. Hell, I'll say it: I busted my ass last year trying to do the best work possible, both personally and professionally. And still, the shit storm raged. Yes, this is horrid whining. I've had a couple beers and I'm in histrionic mode. I don't care. Not to mention the general state of malaise in our country with maniac gun-toting assholes killing innocent people, inept politicians driving our country into the dark ages,  women's rights nearly being obliterated, and an economy wheezing an ominous death rattle. It makes a girl want to curl up in bed and watch 7th Heaven episodes until the zombies hoard the streets, or plagues and famine decimate the population.  BAH.

So 2013 started off horribly, which I will (positively) attribute to a stubborn 2012 and its residual malady. There's still good left in you, 2013. There are some good things which will be as amazing as I anticipate. AWP Boston is coming up in March, some summer holiday plans are in the works, my 211 students are absolute darlings, and next September is the beginning of my final year in my MFA program. It's all happening! I think.